Ecce Homo


This blog is no longer fit for purpose. Allow me to explain.

I was born and raised in Los Angeles, but have spent the majority of my adult life elsewhere–Europe, South America, the US East Coast. Like many kids in their early twenties I didn’t really know what I wanted to do after college. The only thing I knew for certain was that my sister was as determined as I was (more so, in fact) not to stick around LA to try to figure it out. So it was that she & I moved to London on a whim. We had nothing to lose. Somehow, I managed to remain there–and cobble together some semblance of a life–for most of the next 6 ½ years.

This blog was initially meant as an expression of a certain form of alienation, of a necessary detachment (a certain, chosen exile) borne out of a maddening affinity for my proximate surroundings & ‘near abroad’. I’d come to regard Europe as my home. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have been surprised by this development–Europe had always fascinated me, though not for its picture-postcard beauty alone. It was latent in my upbringing, my politics & my interests.

It seems my fate to fret away my years in this country. Not for a second do I regret being American—indeed, I think that a regret typical of very vulgar people, and I feel sure we are the great coming nation—yet”—and she sighed—”I feel my life should have drowsed away close to an older, mellower civilization, a land of greens and autumnal browns…

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

I originally intended to advance an American perspective on Europe from this little corner of the internet. Myself the child of immigrants, I was acutely aware of the importance of perspective & voice when bringing my thoughts to bear on whatever took my fancy. I never quite managed it the way I wanted to, though that was mostly from a lack of trying. I certainly didn’t post half-as-much as I should have liked to.

This blog can barely be said to fulfill its original purpose now that I’ve been forced to return to the United States under circumstances I’d rather forget. I am again a fish out of water, but this time in an environment not entirely of my choosing. The goalposts of only a year ago have shifted irrevocably, sweeping away the ostensible motivations for having carved this space out to begin with. It will probably have no guiding perspective, now or in future, as a result. It’ll be a slave to my moods & interests.

I apologise in advance for the occasional bouts of temperamentality, sentimentality and general stupidity. Of course, the thoughts, opinions, remembrances and reflections are my own.

— Los Angeles, 2 September 2013


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